Darby in Sunset Strip, July, 1977

[DIY and elsewhere]

77-07-08 4-41 Weirdos played, Larchmont Hall,
Pat hanging in the hall

77 Germs Bobby Pyn

[Seen in DIY and elsewhere]

77-11-23-3-34-Germs Darby at Masque

[opening spread, MOJO's LA punk article, July 2004]

78-02-24-Germs08cDarbyMB

Darby Crash, Germs, February 24, 1978, Masque Benefit.

[One of my cover shots from the 3 set CD, "Live at the Masque" but the image was flipped by the art director.]

[77 1-33 Party]

Darby & Michelle at party at Holloway apartment in West Hollywood, Spring, 1977.

[77-1-43 GermsMakeupDarby]

A recently found gem. A very early Germs show. The Whiskey? When? Anyone know?

Darby in a corner at a party.
My notes say Go-Go's. Hmm . . .

When? Where?

I'm gonna make this real simple: I shot Darby, Lorna and Pat at Bomp Records, performing at Slash benefits at Larchmont Hall, the Masque and Masque Benefit, and either the Whisky or Starwood; parties at the Screamers Wilton Hilton and other places; on the street and generally hanging out backstage or elsewhere. Most of us had NO IDEA anyone would be talking about Darby or the Germs nearly 30 years later with such reverence and awe. Their influence cannot be denied. But the sun did not rise nor set on Darby and the Germs!

I preferred the Screamers and X. Others, like Alice Bag and archivist/musician David Jones, felt the Weirdos deserve their due. That is not to take anything away from them, but to add to the mix. The LA punk scene was much larger than the Germs and their circle.

I moved shortly after Darby's suicide. I didn't find out til recently this event depressed a lot of people, who felt guilty, sad and helpless for a long time. But I was older, educated and was much more broken up about my early hero, the talented, gifted AMAZING John Lennon. Lennon was killed by a madman when he finally was being creative again and enjoying his life after years of doubt and torment, including our government harassing him for years.

Was Darby really that afraid of coming out of the closet? A dear pal of mine still has love letters Darby sent him (he scanned one and emailed it to me). If anyone didn't know he was gay, they weren't paying attention. That's a lame excuse and gives the erroneous idea we punks were homophobic. Give me a break! Plenty of the gay male Germs fans hung out at my apartment across from Tower Records, around the corner from Sunset at 1021 Palm. We shot speed together -- real speed queens. We'd go see the Germs or X, then they'd disappear to the baths for days, coming up for air to get high again or see a show. That included Tony the Tiger, a well-known male hustler who showed me checks from his celebrity John, the late comedian Paul Lynde (who played the father in the great '60's classic film "Bye Bye Birdie," about the effect of rock on young women), John Valium, Regi Mentle and others. Regi Mentle told me he never liked Jews til he met me. Poor man stabbed a man and will be in prison the rest of his life. He was so nice to me, I can't imagine what happened.

I remember when they gave me some angel dust to smoke. As much as I love hallucinogens (I wasn't called the Acid Queen for nothing), but that was way too out there. Donnie Rose turned me onto a great hallucinogen. Can't remember what it was called. I'll never forget his description of it. "Like sticking your fingers into an electrical socket" and then he jerked around as his eyes bulged out. That was a good enough recommendation for me! I have great memories of it when having sex! We had such fun!

Suicide is not the answer. It isn't painless. But if someone is determined to kill oneself, don't feel guilty. Just cling to your life and live it to the fullest! Believe me, I've wanted to kill myself countless times, but every time I feel a soothing breeze rustling in the trees and hear birds sing; see a man who takes my breath away and am reminded how I feel when lovingly embraced by a man; or turn up the volume and hear the Ramones, the Clash, X, the Screamers and more, I think, wait, do I want to give all that up?

I wonder if Darby didn't kill himself, would we be talking about him the same way today? Let's get off death trips and get into living life and making our lives meaningful. It's up to each of us . . .

Interesting I wrote this months ago, and yesterday, on my birthday, July 20, I asked that of Lorna. We were on the set of the new Germs film, "What We Do Is Secret." As she said, it was his brillance to know that by being the martyr, the legacy of what he and the band did would live on.

He died to give life to the legend, is that how it goes? She misses him so . . . Lorna is amazingly beautiful, with radiant blue eyes and generous smile. Julia Roberts has nothing on her smile! She's so healthy and slim these days. One thing you find in common among most of us punks, especially the women, is healthy eating (she, like myself, is a vegan) and exercises. Lorna has always been a sweet woman. Every time I see Hellin Killer we get closer. As I told her husband, Paul Roessler of the Screamers, I wish I'd kept in touch all these years. The memories I've missed.

Ah, but the photos and memories I have! As Bette Davis says at end of "Now, Voyager": "oh Jerry, let's not ask for the moon when we've got the stars." And it was a full moon for this moon child's birthday.